Week 3

SURVIVAL TRAINING SCENARIO #3

Boy, you sure have made a name for yourself running drugs through Florida using Go-Fast Boats and your good looks.

OH NO! Zombies are everywhere! However, the rich are willing to pay to be smuggled past the quarantine border like so much dope and wacky backy.

An aristocrat has paid you handsomely to smuggle his family to the vast coffee fields of Columbia. His family consists of him and his wife and kids WHO HE CLAIMS ARE LEPERS. They are wrapped in bandages and keep eating each other.

Also, it is neap tide.

HOW DO YOU SMUGGLE THE ZOMBIE FAMILY AND MAKE A HEARTY PROFIT WHILE KEEPING THE HUMAN TRAFFICKING POLICE AT BAY?

SPENCER CARDINAL – WINNER
Money? At the cost of letting these zombie lovers through quarantine? Over my undead body. Half way out the husband is suspicious of me, my devilish good looks have gotten to his wife, and I’m demanding my pay now. He reluctantly agrees. I suddenly snatch the wife in my masculine arms and we leap onto my emergency jet ski. Locking the rudder I send the main boat full speed at a conveniently placed propane tank next to a random zombie hoard ashore, while the smoking hot wife and I away to the safety of our soon to be love island.

BRUCE TANQUIST – RUNNER UP
I will reap additional profit from the one demographic unaffected by the zombie plague:  Birthers (their behavior mimics the undead).  I will charter a 228-foot Oceanfast luxury yacht for the coming weekend and buy up last-minute spots on conservative radio stations advertising the Ultimate Birther Bonanza Cruise, headlined by Dr. Orly Taitz and promising to prove once and for all that Obama can’t be president.  Prior to the boarding of the birthers, the stowaway children will be locked in separate staterooms.  The aristocrat & wife will mingle with the guests while the occasional birther is tossed below to passify the children.

SEAN – HONORABLE MENTION
Being a drug runner I will be heavily armed and have plenty of hidden cargo space in my boat. I’d put the bratty kids in one compartment (praying that they just eat each other and I won’t have to deal with them ever again). Mr and the Mrs get a different compartment. Heck if the Mrs. is comely lass I may take her for my own. Either way, I’m taking their money before we sail so I can keep that no matter what happens.

In order for the Coast Guard to look the other way while i run illegal drugs, I happily hand over the Aristocrat and his family for a modest fee from the government. That’s what they get for trying to pass his kids off as lepers! There aren’t any lepers anymore!!! Does he think I’m stupid or something?! In fact, fuck that! I’ll shoot them in the middle of the water and dump them overboard! Lepers my ass; this isn’t biblical times!

Now I light up a fatty and coast my way back to shore and wait for another unsuspecting  wealthy family to swindle.

Money? At the cost of letting these zombie lovers through quarantine? Over my undead body. Half way out the husband is suspicious of me, my devilish good looks have gotten to his wife, and I’m demanding my pay now. He reluctantly agrees. I suddenly snatch the wife in my masculine arms and we leap onto my emergency jet ski. Locking the rudder I send the main boat full speed at a conveniently placed propane tank next to a random zombie hoard ashore, while the smoking hot wife and I away to the safety of our soon to be love island.